Monday, February 14, 2011

The Creepiest Loves Songs of ALL TIME!

They sound so sweet when sung by some of our favorite artists of all time...but when you REALLY stop to think about the lyrics, these songs are creepy as hell.

I tried to imagine myself (or preferably, someone else) in the situation described in these songs, imagine myself saying or having the lyrics said to me. If you imagine the same thing...you'll understand exactly how creepy some of pop music's biggest performers really are.


Lionel Richie
"Hello"


Originally came up on the "creep-dar" as part of 40-Year Old Virgin. Because watching Steve Carrel touch himself isn't disturbing enough, the producers made Steve get all"self-grabby" with this little ditty in the baackground, scoring this track a 7 out 0f 10 creepers.

I've been alone with you inside my mind
And in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times
I sometimes see you pass outside my door
Hello, is it me you're looking for?





Death Cab for Cutie
I Will Possess Your Heart


How I wish you could see the potential
The potential of you and me
It's like a book elegantly bound
But in a language you can't read just yet

You reject my advances
and desperate plea.
I won't let you let me down
so easily. So easily

You got to spend some time, love
You got to spend some time with me
And I know that you'll find love
I will possess your heart

The overwhelming theme of this song is about being so obsessed with loving someone that the mere thought of that love being unreturned is simply refused. It's a clever song because of the ambiguities between the catchy beat/bass line, the pop sounding song style, and the meanings behind the lyrics.

Due to copyright, I can't embed the song, but here is a link to the video for the full radio version of the song. Definitely worth a listen... 8 of 10 creepers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsCV61zsdtA



Rick Astley
Never Gonna Give You Up

This song is creepy for several reasons, the least of which is that a tall goofy looking ginger can make a sound like that with his voice. You see, our boy Rick is THAT guy. The one you've been friends with forever and ever who all the suddens confesses he's OBSESSED with you. AWKWARD!

We've known each other for so long
Your heart's been aching but
You're too shy to say it
Inside we both know what's been going on
We know the game and we're gonna play it
And if you ask me how I'm feeling
Don't tell me you're too blind to see

Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry




Rick only made us a little uncomfortable. He earns a 4 out of 10 creepers.


Ludo
The Horror of Our Love

I believe this a track best described as "EMO". Since I'm almost 30...I've lost touch with my "inner depressed teenager" a while back, so I can't be sure. Forgive me if I have mis-categorized this song from Ludo.

I'm a killer
Cold and wrathful
Silent sleeper
I've been inside your bedroom
I've murdered half the town
Left you love notes on their headstones
I'll fill the graveyards
Until I have you


Instead of some crafty humorous explanation of the lyrics, I shall let this song stand on its own...



10 out of 10 creepers (duh)


The Everly Brothers
Down in the Willow Garden


The Everly Brothers are the most successful selling Rock N Roll duo on the Billboard Top 100, their greatest period coming between 1957 and 1965. This isn't just a creepy love song. It's an OLD creepy love song. For all I can tell, the Everly's INVENTED the idea...

Down in the Willow garden
Where me and my love did meet
As we sat a-courtin'
My love fell off to sleep
I had a bottle of Burgundy wine
My love she did not know
So I poisoned that dear little girl
On the banks below

I drew a sabre through her
It was a bloody knife
I threw her in the river
Which was a dreadful sign




7 out of 10 creepers


Nick Cave & Kylie Minouge
Where the Wild Roses Grow


In this song, Nick Cave is obsessed with the beauty of the girl known as Elisa Day. So obsessed in fact that he kills her with a rock, to "forever preserve her beauty" or some damn thing. Elisa (Kylie) lingers around in the rose patch/river where Nick killed her and dumped, as a ghost...and
the people who talk about the murder refer to the wild rose...which is why they call her the wild rose, instead of Elisa Day...

Seriously, if the song meaning/lyrics don't make your skin crawl, the video will....

On the third day he took me to the river
He showed me the roses and we kissed
And the last thing I heard was a muttered word
As he stood smiling above me with a rock in his fist

On the last day I took her where the wild roses grow
And she lay on the bank, the wind light as a thief
As I kissed her goodbye, I said, 'All beauty must die'
And lent down and planted a rose between her teeth




8 out of 10 creepers (I don't like the bloody water image...)


Ke$ha
Stephen


As a man, I see the creepy love song list STACKED with dudes. I'm pleased to include a song from a creepy chick. Ke$sha goes completely nuts in this song, obsessed with some boy named "Stephen". I know, we've all been there...but do we really need the duck tape? And eating his hair...do you know where he's been Ke$sha? Get a GRIP!

Stephen
Why won't you call me?
I'm sitting here waiting
Why won't you call me?
Stephen
I'm feeling pathetic
I can't take rejection
Why won't you call me?

Stephen
I'll knit you a sweater
I want to wrap you up in my love
Forever
I will never let you go Stephen
I'll never let g
o

Ke$ha - Stephen (Official Music Video) from Ke$ha Portugal on Vimeo.


6 out of 10 creepers (I think I could take her if she went all "nutso" so I feel a little more secure in my rating)


The Police
Every Breath You Take


I bet you thought I would forget this one? How could I? This is the MACK DADDY of creepy love songs. Sting is so into this chick he wants to watch her breathe....

How my poor heart aches with every step you take
Every move you make and every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake, I'll be watching you


More lyrics: http://www.lyricsfreak.com/p/police/#share



9 out of 10 creepers

Some real winners on here! If you enjoyed this post, please share it with your friends! Happy Valentines Day lovers!

1 comment:

  1. guh Ke$ha is creepy enough when not obsessed. but this is a great list! (crappy) happy valentines day!

    ReplyDelete